When it comes to being in a relationship I never understood why someone would have a female on the side. I have heard quite a few guys say how much they love their girlfriend, but then turn around and mess with another female behind her back. In my opinion, if the girlfriend continues to stay with the guy after she has found out that he's been screwing another bitch behind her back she's stupid. I think some women feel like since their the girlfriend it doesn't matter because he's with her, but I think it's a lose lose situation either way. If you're the girlfriend, yeah he's coming home to you but yet he's having sex with another girl. If you're the side chick, yeah you guys are having sex but he doesn't love you, care about, nor does he want to be in a relationship with you. the whole situation is just ridiculous.
While I agree whole heartedly, maybe I can shed some light on *why* this happens.
ReplyDeleteFor the males, on a primal\instinctual\whatever you want to call it level, Anthropologists suggest that males are wired to desire multiple mates at a time in order to increase the chance of surviving offspring. Human males display behaviors similar to animals that only stay around once offspring are born long enough for the young to be able to care for it'self. This can be anywhere from the ages of five (assuming mobility is the deciding factor) or ten (assuming that being able to hunt on their own is a factor.) Unless another child is born to keep the male tied to the female, most loose interest and begin seeking another (often younger) mate within these times.
All that said we have evolved to the point where this is no longer necessary from a survival or even an evolutionary standpoint. Why males still practice this behavior today will depend on a number of factors regarding personal temperament, upbringing, social expectations and a large number of other miscellaneous variables.
On the female's part, once again going back to primal ancestry, when involved in sexual relations with a male the female would stick close to him for protection in case pregnancy occurred.
Today many women stay with men who don't care about them for factors that range from subtle Stockholming on the male's part, friends and family telling her to "give him another chance", or a desire not to be alone. Once again the factors that determine why she might be staying with him depend on the individual but those are the most common.
I understand what you're saying, to be honest with you I did not stop and think about how a guys upbringigng can affect the way he views females. When I typed this blog I guess I was thinking about what I would do if was ever in a situation like that. I know I would for sure leave him regardless of what people tell me.
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